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About my collections
Ratings:
10 stars - Classic
09 stars - Awesome
08 stars - Excellent
07 stars - Great
06 stars - Good
05 stars - OK
04 stars - Below Average
03 stars - Poor
02 stars - Bad
01 stars - A Few Wasted Hours of My Life I Will Never Get Back
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Recent reviews
Quest for the Mighty Sword review
Posted : 1 week ago on 14 November 2024 03:34 (A review of Quest for the Mighty Sword)Swords/fighting:
- No big battle scenes.
- Really bad sword fighting... this is a big downer for a S&S film.
Muscles/boobs:
- No nudity. Downright disgraceful for a Sword and Sorcery film.
- Not one muscled dude to be found. Immediate -5 stars.
- Main actor was big.... and fat for a S&S film.
Creative plot/enemies:
+ The sets and locations were very well for the budget
+ Annnnnd all the money went into the clothing and creature designs.
+ The lead bad guy had the only good acting in the entire film.
- There wasn't a drop of acting anywhere, everyone was stiff as boards.
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Good solid Sword & Sorcery film
Posted : 2 years, 2 months ago on 11 September 2022 06:04 (A review of The Sword and the Sorcerer)Swords/fighting:
+ The fighting was okay, the creativeness of the weapon designs added to the film.
+ Good gore and blood. Special effects guy needs a raise.
Muscles/boobs:
- While there was plenty of skin shown and shirts off, there were only a few yoked dudes. Definitely needed more.
- Only two scenes of topless girls were shown... so sad, needs more female nudity.
Creative plot/enemies:
++ Actually passable acting from supporting characters and main ones could act.
- The person doing the fake wigs and beards should do something else with their life... so bad.
- The lighting dude needed to be fired. The film was way too dark in parts and therefore made it hard to watch and figure out who was who and what was going on.
+ The editing and pace was good for this type of film.
++ The plot was one of the best S&S yet! Loved the 3 factions fighting for the throne, and the side plots with the mercenaries, pirates, and other kings helped to add more meat to the film. Although the film should have been called "The King, the warrior, and the Sorcerer".
+ Music was good.
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The Terminal List review
Posted : 2 years, 4 months ago on 6 July 2022 06:11 (A review of The Terminal List)I had to turned it off at the point where the high-speed dude, in the sewer water, was wearing chucks on the mission... fucking ridiculous.
1 comments, Reply to this entry
So bad... it's bad.
Posted : 2 years, 7 months ago on 21 April 2022 06:41 (A review of Conquest)Swords/fighting:
-- The fighting was bad, people jumped, got bopped on the heads, and thrown... all poorly done.
- Fair amount of blood, but again, it was so badly done that I wondered why have it at all.
Muscles/boobs:
- The main dude had some arm muscle but never took his shirt off or flexed.
+ Some tits were shown and the main villain lady keep hers upholstered and out the entire movie.
Creative plot/enemies:
-- There was no acting. Not even a hint of trying.
-- The editing and pace of the movie were horrible, absolute trash.
+ The plot wasn't too bad, had a couple twists.
+ Music was good. The one place they spent the budget on.
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A watch once movie that did everything well.
Posted : 2 years, 8 months ago on 14 March 2022 03:33 (A review of The Warrior and the Sorceress)Swords/fighting:
+- The fighting was adequate, was sad to see that the powerful sword that could cut through anvils wasn't slicing people in half :(
Found it interesting no one threw any rocks or had slings.
Muscles/boobs:
+ While the main rogue/assassin/thief (Kill Bill guy) was not ripped, the captain of the guards was and left his shirt off for the entire movie.
+ Good amount of nudity for a Sword and Sorcery movie.
+ 4 boobed chick
Creative plot/enemies:
+ All of the acting was actually good, the two villains, princess, bad captain, and the main guy.
- Besides a couple of tiny gems, there wasn't much creativeness... Rather bland for a S&S film.
+ Coherent plot that was easy to follow and good editing (Although at times the scenes would suddenly jump)
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The two who are one really bad movie
Posted : 2 years, 8 months ago on 14 March 2022 01:38 (A review of Sorceress)Swords/fighting:
- Not much fighting
- Horrible sword fighting, absolutely trash.
Muscles/boobs:
- The barbarian was not muscled up, not funny, and was too scrawny to be a barbarian.
+ Good amount of nudity for a Sword and Sorcery movie.
Creative plot/enemies:
- All of the acting was bad, not a single good actor in the film.
- The enemy soldiers were bland and forgettable
+ Zombie soldiers at the end were well done.
- The goatman was horrible.
+ Coherent plot that was easy to follow and good editing.
- Who was the sorceress? There was no sorceress in the movie.
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Boring... oh, god so boring.
Posted : 2 years, 9 months ago on 27 January 2022 06:27 (A review of Deathstalker III: The Warriors from Hell)Swords/fighting:
- Sets and swords were cheap looking. In fact the swords were wooden and painted grey.
- Horrible sword fighting, absolutely trash. The fight between the hero and villain at the end was almost so bad it's good.
Muscles/boobs:
- Main actor was not muscled up, not funny, and not a good actor.
- Four and a half tits were shown. Not enough for a Sword and Sorcery movie.
Creative plot/enemies:
- All of the acting was bad, not a single good actor in the film.
- The villain looked like a manager from best buy.
- The enemy soldiers were bland and didn't seem like henchmen from a S&S film.
- While the plot was coherent, but the sound and editing were so bad it made it seem like someone took a camera to a LARPing session.
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Good but flawed
Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 15 January 2022 06:41 (A review of The Beastmaster)Swords/fighting:
+ Good sword fighting.
Muscles/boobs:
+ Good amount of boobs, every chance to rip off a blouse or dress to show tits they would.
++ Main actor was ripped as hell which distracted from his bad acting.
+ Yoked black dude in the leather outfit was a good addition.
Creative plot/enemies:
+ The lead bad guy had good acting abilities and was believable.
- The script jumped around and was hard to follow at times.
+ Sets were big and believable.
++ The enemies were varied, vampire bird people, henchmen, guards, pyramid monsters, Wing helmet horsemen...
- A tiger was painted black and was supposed to be a panther. (This actually might be a plus because it's so hilarious)
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Funny but lacking
Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 15 January 2022 06:30 (A review of Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans)Swords/fighting:
- Sets and swords were cheap looking.
+ Decent sword fighting, main actor could actually sword fight.
Muscles/boobs:
- Main actor was not muscled up and had not an ounce of oil on his body.
+ Okay nudity for a Sword and Sorcery film.
Creative plot/enemies:
+ The lead bad guy had good acting abilities and was believable.
+ Funny main actor who could actually act. Nobody else could act, but this was to be expected.
-- Zombie scene and wrestling scene were waaaaay too long, causing the middle of the film to drag.
-- Reuse of scenes from 1st Deathstalker movie.
0 comments, Reply to this entry
Deathstalker
Posted : 2 years, 10 months ago on 15 January 2022 06:29 (A review of Deathstalker)Swords/fighting:
+ Awesome sidekick barbarian babe who could act, fight, fuck, and bare her tits.
+ Side kick buddy could fight, act, and wasn't the typical big yoked dude, but was a lean, ripped fighter.
- Really bad sword fighting... this is a big downer for a S&S film.
Muscles/boobs:
+ The right amount of nudity for a Sword and Sorcery film, plenty of boobs all around.
+ Main actor was muscled up.
- Main actor wore a shirt most of the film and was a bad actor.
Creative plot/enemies:
+ The lead bad guy had good acting abilities and was believable.
- An incoherent script that was hard to follow.
0 comments, Reply to this entry
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“There are only 3 categories you need to make a Sword & Sorcery film:
Swords/fighting:
- No big battle scenes.
- Really bad sword fighting... this is a big downer for a S&S film.
Muscles/boobs:
- No nudity. Downright disgraceful for a Sword and Sorcer” read more
“To be honest, it has been years since I have seen this flick but it was really weak, I don’t think I will waste my time again with it. Of course, yo”
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